Come Here Peeps I'm Hearing That You Run These Streets You Don't Want Beef

Edit

Andrew: Nosotros're all pretty bizarre. Some of the states are just better at hiding it, that'southward all.

[last lines]

Brian Johnson: [endmost narration] Dear Mr. Vernon, nosotros have the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Sat in detention for any it was we did incorrect. But we recollect you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. Yous meet us as you desire to see u.s.a. - in the simplest terms, in the most user-friendly definitions. But what we found out is that each one of united states of america is a brain...

Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...

Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...

Claire Standish: ...a princess...

John Bender: ...and a criminal.

Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Lodge.

Andrew: What do y'all demand a fake I.D. for?

Brian: So I tin vote.

John Bender: [Imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk.

[Imitating his Mother]

John Bender: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.

[Father's voice]

John Bough: Shut upward bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie.

[His own voice]

John Bender: No dad, what virtually you?

[Begetter's voice]

John Bender: Fuck you.

[His own voice]

John Bender: No dad, what nearly you?

[Father's voice]

John Bender: Fuck you lot.

[His own voice]

John Bender: Dad, what virtually you?

[Father'south voice]

John Bough: Fuck y'all!

[Pantomimes getting punched in the face]

Brian Johnson: Is that for existent?

John Bough: Yous wanna come over sometime?

John Bough: Screws autumn out all the time, the world is an imperfect identify.

[Claire is doing Allison'southward make-upwards]

Claire: You know, you look a lot better without all that blackness shit under your eyes.

Allison Reynolds: Hey, I like all that black shit... Why are y'all being so nice to me?

Claire: Because you're letting me.

Andrew: I taped Larry Lester'south buns together.

Brian Johnson: That was you?

Andrew: Yes, you know him?

Brian Johnson: Yeah, I know him.

Andrew: Well, and so you know how hairy he is. And when they pulled the tape off, most of his pilus came off and some - some pare, too.

Claire Standish: Oh my God.

Andrew: And the bizarre matter is that I did it for my erstwhile man. I tortured this poor child because I wanted him to think that I was cool. He's always going off about how when he was in school and all the wild things he used to do. And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cutting loose on anyone, right? And then I'1000 sitting in the locker room and I'm taping upward my knee joint, and Larry's undressing a couple lockers downward from me. And he's kinda, he'southward kinda skinny. Weak. And I started thinkin' about my father, and his mental attitude about, almost weakness. And the next matter I knew, I jumped on top of him and started whaling on him. And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I'g sitting in Vernon'due south office, all I could think about was Larry'south father and Larry having to go home and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation - the fucking humiliation he must have felt. It must have been unreal. I mean, how... how do you apologize for something similar that? There'southward no mode. Information technology'south all because of me and my old man. God, I fucking hate him. He's like this mindless car that I tin can't fifty-fifty relate to anymore.

[crying, imitating his father]

Andrew: 'Andrew! You've got to be number i! I won't tolerate any losers in this family! Your intensity is for shit! Win! Win! Win!' You son of a bowwow. You know, sometimes I wish my genu would give. And I wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore. And he could forget all almost me.

Allison Reynolds: I'll practise anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do information technology either.

Claire Standish: Y'all're lying.

Allison Reynolds: I already have. I've done only about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.

Claire Standish: Lie.

Brian Johnson: Are your parents aware of this?

Allison Reynolds: The just person I told was my shrink.

Andrew Clark: And what did he do when you told him?

Allison Reynolds: He nailed me.

Claire Standish: Very dainty.

Allison Reynolds: I don't call back that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him.

Claire Standish: He's an developed.

Allison Reynolds: Aye, he's married likewise.

Claire Standish: Practise you have whatsoever idea how completely gross that is?

Allison Reynolds: Well, the beginning few times...

Claire Standish: The showtime few times? You mean you lot did it more than once?

Allison Reynolds: Sure.

Claire Standish: Are you lot crazy?

Brian Johnson: Obviously she'due south crazy if she's screwing a compress.

Allison Reynolds: Have you lot e'er done information technology?

Claire Standish: I don't even have a psychiatrist.

Allison Reynolds: Have you e'er done it with a normal person?

Claire Standish: Didn't we already cover this?

John Bender: You lot never answered the question.

Claire Standish: Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.

Allison Reynolds: It'south kind of a double edged sword isn't information technology?

Claire Standish: A what?

Allison Reynolds: Well, if you say you haven't, yous're a prude. If you say you have you lot're a slut. It'due south a trap. Yous want to but you can't, and when yous do you wish you didn't, right?

Claire Standish: Wrong.

Allison Reynolds: Or are y'all a tease?

Andrew Clark: She'south a tease.

Claire Standish: I'thou sure. Why don't you just forget it.

Andrew Clark: Oh, you're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases.

John Bough: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.

Claire Standish: I don't practise anything.

Allison Reynolds: That's why you're a tease.

Claire Standish: OK, let me enquire you lot a few questions.

Allison Reynolds: I already told you everything.

Claire Standish: No. Doesn't information technology bother you to sleep around without existence in love. I mean, don't y'all want any respect?

Allison Reynolds: I don't spiral to get respect. That's the divergence betwixt you and me.

Claire Standish: It's non the only difference I hope.

John Bough: Face it, you're a tease.

Claire Standish: I'm NOT a tease.

John Bough: Sure you lot are. Sexual activity is your weapon. You said it yourself. You use information technology to get respect.

Claire Standish: No, I never said that she twisted my words around.

John Bender: What do you utilize it for and so?

Claire Standish: I don't utilise it period.

John Bender: Oh, are yous medically frigid or is it psychological?

Claire Standish: I didn't mean it that fashion. Y'all guys are putting words into my mouth.

John Bender: Well, if you'd just answer the question.

Brian Johnson: Why don't you just respond the question?

Andrew Clark: Be honest.

John Bough: No big deal.

Brian Johnson: Yep answer it.

Andrew Clark: Answer the question, Claire.

John Bough: Talk to united states. Every one: C'mon, answer the question. Come on. Answer it.

John Bender: C'mon, information technology'south piece of cake. It's merely one question.

Claire Standish: NO I NEVER DID IT.

Allison Reynolds: I never did it either. I'k not a nymphomaniac. I'yard a compulsive liar.

[starting time lines]

Brian Johnson: [opening narration immediately after the title sequence] Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to cede a whole Saturday in detention for any information technology was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think yous're crazy to brand us write an essay telling yous who nosotros think we are. What practise you care? You see us as you desire to run across us - in the simplest terms, in the well-nigh convenient definitions. You lot encounter u.s.a. as a encephalon, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at vii:00 this morning. Nosotros were brainwashed.

John: Hey, how come Andrew gets to become upward? If he gets up, we'll all get up, information technology'll be anarchy.

John Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Claire Standish: Y'all know why guys like you knock everything?

John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.

Claire Standish: It's considering you're afraid.

John Bender: Oh God, you richies are and so smart, that's exactly why I'yard not heavy into activities.

Claire Standish: You're a big coward.

Brian Johnson: I'm in the math gild.

Claire Standish: See, you're afraid that they won't take y'all, yous don't belong, and then you lot have to simply dump all over it.

John Bough: Well, information technology wouldn't accept anything to do with y'all activities people being assholes, now would it?

Claire Standish: Well, y'all wouldn't know, yous don't even know any of us.

John Bough: Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not going to run out and join ane of their fucking clubs.

Andrew Clark: Hey! Permit'south sentinel the oral fissure, huh?

Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics social club too.

John Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you blathering near?

Brian Johnson: Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physics club... physics lodge.

John Bender: Hey, Ruby-red. Do you belong to the physics club?

Claire Standish: That's an academic club.

John Bender: And then?

Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same equally other kinds of clubs.

John Bender: Ah... but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?

Brian Johnson: Well, in physics we... we talk nigh physics, properties of physics.

John Bender: Then it'southward sorta social, demented and lamentable, but social. Correct?

John Bender: [after Claire performs her lipstick trick, claps sarcastically] Wow, Claire. That was great. My prototype of you is totally blown.

Allison Reynolds: You're a shit. Don't do that to her, you swore to God you wouldn't laugh.

John Bender: Am I laughing?

Andrew Clark: [shouts angrily] Yous fuckin' prick!

John Bender: What do y'all care what I think anyway? I don't fifty-fifty count, correct? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference. I might as well not fifty-fifty exist at this school, remember?

[turns to Claire]

John Bender: And you lot... don't like me anyway.

Claire Standish: You know, I have just every bit, many feelings as you lot do and it hurts so much when someone steps all over them.

John Bender: God! You're and then pathetic. Don't yous always, *ever* compare yourself to me, okay. You got everything, and I got shit. Fuckin' Rapunzel, right? School would probably fuckin' shut down if yous didn't show up. Queenie isn't hither. I like those earrings, Claire.

Claire Standish: Close upward.

John Bough: Are those real diamonds Claire?

Claire Standish: Shut upwardly.

John Bough: I bet they are. Did y'all work for the coin for those earrings?

Claire Standish: Close your oral cavity.

John Bender: Or did your daddy buy those for you?

Claire Standish: [shouts] Shut Up!

John Bender: I'll bet he bought those for you lot. I bet those were a Christmas gift. Right? You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, information technology was a imprint fucking yr at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny." All right? So go dwelling house and cry to your Daddy. Don't cry here, okay?

Andrew Clark: My God, are we gonna exist similar our parents?

Claire Standish: Not me. Ever.

[Bough nods]

Richard Vernon: What if your domicile... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on burn down?

John Bender: [truthfully] Incommunicable, sir. It'due south in Johnson's underwear.

Bender: Recall how you said your parents employ you to go back at each other?

Claire Standish: [nods]

Bender: Wouldn't I be OUTSTANDING in that chapters?

John Bender: YOU ARE A BITCH.

Claire Standish: Why? 'Cause I'yard telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?

John Bough: NO. 'Crusade you know how shitty that is to practice someone, and yous don't got the assurance to stand up up to your friends and tell them yous're gonna like who you lot wanna like.

Andrew: Why practise you take to insult everybody?

John Bough: I'thou being honest, asshole. I would wait you to know the difference.

Allison Reynolds: I don't take to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I tin go to the sea, I can go to the country, I can get to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan.

[Richard Vernon places magazine rack in front of door to hold it open]

John Bender: That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I retrieve violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.

Bender: [running through the halls singing] I wanna be an airborne ranger / I wanna lead a life of danger / Earlier the day I die / At that place's 5 things I wanna ride / Bicycle, tricycle, motorcar / Virgin's mother and a ferris wheel...

Andrew: Speak for yourself.

Bender: Practise you lot recollect I'd speak for you? I don't fifty-fifty know your language.

Andrew: Wait, you guys go on up your talking and Vernon's gonna come up right in here. I got a meet this Saturday and I'k not gonna miss it on business relationship of you boneheads.

Bender: Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite, huh? Missing a whole wrestling meet!

Andrew: You lot wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You lot never competed in your whole life!

Bender: Oh, I know. I experience all empty inside because of it. I have such a deep admiration for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys.

Andrew: Ah, you lot'd never brand it. You don't have any goals.

Bender: Oh, but I practise!

Andrew: Aye?

Bender: I wanna be just... like... you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights!

Brian: You article of clothing tights?

Andrew: No, I don't wearable tights. I clothing the required uniform.

Brian: Tights.

Andrew: [curt interruption] Close up!

John Bender: What're we having?

Brian Johnson: Uh, information technology'due south your standard, regular lunch I guess...

[Bough reaches in the pocketbook and pulls out a thermos. He sets information technology on the table and points at it]

John Bender: Milk?

Brian Johnson: Uh, soup.

John Bender: Ah.

[Bender goes in again and pulls out a juice box. Brian reaches toward the handbag and Bender slaps his hand]

Brian Johnson: That's apple tree juice...

John Bough: I *tin can* read. PB & J with the crusts cutting off... Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious tiffin. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

Brian Johnson: Uh, no, Mr. Johnson.

[to himself, crawling above some audio-visual ceiling tiles]

Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a ii-foot salami nether the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a potable. Naked lady says...

[the ceiling gives way]

Bender: Oh, *shit*.

Andrew: [after Claire has given Allison a makeover] What happened to you?

Allison Reynolds: Why? Claire did it... What's wrong?

Andrew: Cypher's wrong... information technology's just so different, you know? I tin see your confront.

Allison Reynolds: Is that expert or bad?

Andrew: It's good.

Brian Johnson: [after Brian explains his F in store] Did you know without trigonometry, there'd be no engineering?

Bender: Without lamps, there'd be no light.

[Vernon catches Bough playing basketball game in the gym]

Bender: Don't yous want to hear my alibi?

Richard Vernon: Out.

Bough: I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.

[as Bender prepares to urinate under his desk]

Andrew Clark: Hey, you're not urinating in here, man.

John Bender: Don't talk. Don't talk. It makes it crawl back up.

Claire Standish: Why didn't y'all want me to know that y'all are a virgin?

Brian Johnson: Because information technology'due south my business - my personal business.

John Bender: Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like yous're doing whatever business.

Bender: Y'all're kind of sexy when you're angry.

Claire Standish: [about her parents] I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It'southward like they use me just to get dorsum at each other.

Allison Reynolds: [her offset word of dialogue so far] Ha!

Claire Standish: [long pause] Shut up!

Claire Standish: What would your friends say if we were walking downwardly the hall together. They'd laugh their asses off and you'd probably tell them you were doing it with me then they'd forgive y'all for being seen with me.

John Bender: Don't you ever talk about my friends. Yous don't know any of my friends. You don't look at whatsoever of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't deign to speak to any of my friends. So you but stick to the things y'all know: shopping, smash polish, your father'southward BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean.

Claire Standish: Shut Up!

John Bender: And as far as being concerned virtually what's gonna happen when y'all and I walk downwards the hallways of school together, y'all can forget information technology cuz it'southward never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and await for your fuckin' prom.

Claire Standish: [Crying] I detest you!

John Bender: Yes? Good!

John Bough: My impression of life at Big Bri'southward house, "Son?" "Yep, Dad?" "How was your day, son?" "Bang-up, Dad. How'due south yours?" "Super. Say, how would like to go fishing this weekend?" "Nifty, Dad. But I got homework to practise." "That's okay, son. Y'all can do it on the boat." "Gee." "Hon, isn't our son slap-up?" "Yes, love. Isn't life great?"

[buss]

Claire Standish: Practise you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.

Bender: Poor baby.

Andrew: I said, go out her alone.

Bender: Yous gonna make me?

Andrew: Yeah.

Bender: You and how many of your friends?

Andrew: Merely me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You striking the floor. Anytime you're set up, pal.

Richard Vernon: [Andrew laughs at Bender's backtalk] Y'all call up he'due south funny? You think this is cute? You recollect he's "bitchin," is that it? Let me tell y'all something. Await at him - he's a bum. You desire to run into something funny? You go visit John Bough in v years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is.

Bender: How does ane go a janitor?

Carl: You wanna be a janitor?

Bender: No, I merely want to know how one becomes a janitor. Because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.

Carl: Oh actually? You guys think I'thou just some untouchable peasant? Serf? Peon? Well, maybe and so. But post-obit a broom around after shitheads similar you for the terminal 8 years, I've learned a couple of things. I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends.

[Carl looks up at the clock and looks at his scout]

Carl: By the mode, that clock'southward 20 minutes fast.

Claire Standish: What'due south your name?

John Bough: What'south yours?

Claire Standish: Claire.

John Bender: Claire?

Claire Standish: Claire. It's a family proper noun.

John Bough: Oh, it'south a fatty daughter'southward proper noun.

Claire Standish: Oh, thank you.

John Bender: You're welcome.

Claire Standish: I'm not fat.

John Bender: Well not at nowadays, only I can see you really pushing maximum density. Run across I'g non sure if you know this, simply there are 2 kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born to be fatty, and in that location's fat people that were once thin simply became fat... so when you look at 'em yous can sorta see that thin person within. Y'all run into, yous're gonna become married, you're gonna clasp out a few puppies then, uh...

John Bender: Hey, homeboy, what practise yous say we close that door, we'll get the prom queen impregnated.

Richard Vernon: That'southward the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me wait bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I brand $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you lot. Simply someday when you lot're outta hither and yous've forgotten all about this place and they've forgotten all about you lot, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'grand gonna exist there. That'south right. And I'grand gonna boot the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.

Bender: You threatening me?

Richard Vernon: What are you gonna practise near it? You retrieve anyone's gonna believe you? Yous think anyone is gonna accept your discussion over mine? I'm a man of respect around hither. They love me around here. I'one thousand a keen guy. You're a lying sack of shit and everybody knows it. Oh, yous're a tough guy. Hey c'mon. Go on your feet pal. Let'due south notice out how tough you are. I wanna know right at present how tough you lot are.

[offers Bender his chin]

Richard Vernon: Just take the offset shot. I'grand begging you, take a shot. Just one striking. Come on, that'due south all I demand, only one swing...

[Bender pauses, staring]

Richard Vernon: That's what I idea. You lot're a gutless turd.

[John Bender is absently fierce upwardly books]

Andrew Clark: That'south real intelligent.

John Bender: You're right. Information technology'south wrong to destroy literature. Information technology's such fun to read. And

[examines title]

John Bender: Moe-Lay really pumps my nads.

Claire Standish: Moliere.

Brian Johnson: I'k a fucking idiot because I can't make a lamp?

John Bender: No. You're a genius considering you can't make a lamp.

Andrew: You lot enquire me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you.

Claire Standish: I hate information technology. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.

Richard Vernon: What did y'all wanna exist when you lot were young?

Carl: When I was a kid, I wanted to exist John Lennon.

Richard Vernon: Carl, don't be a goof. I'one thousand making a serious bespeak here.

Bender: Yous keep eating your hand and you're not gonna exist hungry for dejeuner...

John Bender: [to Vernon] Keep your fuckin' hands off me! I'd look better manners from you, Dick.

Richard Vernon: You ought to spend a little more fourth dimension trying to make something of yourself and a little less fourth dimension trying to impress people.

Bender: [after putting his head betwixt Claire's legs nether the table] It was an accident.

Claire Standish: You're an asshole.

Bender: Sue me.

Claire Standish: He's but doing it to get a ascent out of you. Just ignore him.

John Bender: Sweets. Yous couldn't ignore me if you tried. And so... and so. Are you guys like fellow-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Practise y'all slip her the hot beef injection?

Claire Standish: Go to HELL.

Andrew: Plenty.

Richard Vernon: Hey. What's goin in at that place? Damn pricks.

Allison Reynolds: [after Andrew says he would drive to schoolhouse naked for ane 1000000 dollars] I'd exercise that. I'll practice anything sexual, and I don't need a 1000000 dollars to practice it either. I'm a nymphomaniac.

Richard Vernon: You remember near this: when yous become old, these kids - when *I* get old - they're going to exist running the land.

Carl: Yeah.

Richard Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the nighttime. That when I go older, these kids are going to take care of me.

Carl: I wouldn't count on it.

John Bender: [after Claire flips him off] Oh, obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl.

Richard Vernon: Well, well. Hither nosotros are. I want to congratulate yous for existence on time.

Claire Standish: Excuse me, sir. I recollect there's been a fault. I know it's detention, merely I don't think I belong in here.

[Vernon ignores her and looks at his scout]

Richard Vernon: It is now 7:06. You have exactly 8 hours and 54 minutes to think about WHY you are here, to ponder the error of your ways.

[Bender spits out a wad of saliva in the air and catches with his mouth, prompting Claire to nigh exclaim in disgust, just Vernon stops her by pointing]

Richard Vernon: You may non talk.

[Brian tries to move to the chair next to him on the table]

Richard Vernon: You will not move from these seats.

[to Bender, who is relaxing his feet on a chair, but Vernon pulls it out from under Bender's feet]

Richard Vernon: And You... will non sleep. All right, people, we're going to endeavor something a piddling different, today. Nosotros are going to write an essay of no less than a yard words describing to me who you recall yous are.

[starts handing out sheets of paper]

John Bender: Is this a test?

Richard Vernon: And when I say 'essay' I mean 'essay' I practise not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Mr. Bender?

Richard Vernon: Weep-Stal.

Richard Vernon: Good. Possibly you'll acquire a little something about yourself. Perhaps you'll decide, whether or not, you'd care to return.

Richard Vernon: Uh, y'all know, I can reply that correct at present, sir. That'd be no... No from me, 'cause...

John Bender: [contemptuously] Sit downward, Johnson.

Brian Johnson: Cheers, sir.

Richard Vernon: My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-brash. Any questions?

John Bender: Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Brian Johnson: I'll give you the respond to that question, Mr. Bough, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull, swain. You lot'll get the horns.

[exits the library]

Richard Vernon: That man... is a credibility-hound.

Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits... me hitting you, yous hitting the floor. Any fourth dimension you're ready, pal.

Bender: [Bender goes to hit Andrew but Andrew tackles him to the floor] I don't wanna get into this with you man.

Andrew: [Andrew lets him become and they both stand up upward] Why not?

Bough: Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple, I'd kill you and your fucking parents would sue me and information technology'd exist a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother.

Andrew: [whispers equally he turns around] Chickenshit.

[Bough pulls out a switchblade and stabs into a chair]

Andrew: Let's end this correct now. You don't talk to her... you don't wait at her and yous don't even remember about her! You understand me?

John Bough: Merely face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie, what would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a ameliorate denizen?

Bender: Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a one thousand thousand dollars that you are. Let's stop the suspense! Is it gonna be... a white nuptials?

Claire: Why don't yous simply shut upwardly?

Bender: Have you ever kissed a male child on the oral fissure?

[Claire doesn't answer]

Bender: Have you ever been felt upwards? Over the bra, nether the blouse, shoes off... hoping to God your parents don't walk in?

Claire: Do you want me to puke?

Bender: Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvins in a ball on the front end seat, past xi on a schoolhouse-nighttime?

Bender: Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? Information technology's pretty tasty.

Claire: No cheers.

Bender: How does he ride a bike?

Bough: Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?

Claire: Can't you lot just leave me alone?

Bender: I hateful even if he had a prissy personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun

Richard Vernon: Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.

Andrew: Yo wastoid, you're non gonna blaze up in here.

Andrew Clark: I'1000 not a winner because I want to exist one. I'm a winner because I've got forcefulness and speed... kinda like a racehorse. Information technology'due south about how involved I am in what'due south happening to me.

Bender: Can yous hear this?

[makes a eye finger pointing downwards]

Bender: Want me to turn information technology upwardly?

[turns his middle finger correct side upward in his confront]

Brian: Are yous gonna be, like, a shopping handbag lady? Y'all know, like, sit in alleyways and, similar, talk to buildings and wear men's shoes and that kinda thing?

Bender: [as Mr. Vernon leaves the library] That man... is a brownie hound.

Andrew: [standing upwards for Claire after she'south been bullied by Bender one likewise many times] Let's terminate this right now. You don't talk to her, you don't look at her and you don't fifty-fifty recall well-nigh her! You understand me?

Bender: [nonchalantly] I'm trying to assistance her.

Bender: Oh, shit! What're we s'posed to practice if we have to have a piss?

Claire Standish: Please.

Bender: If you gotta go, you gotta go.

Claire Standish: Oh my god!

Andrew: Hey, you're non urinating in here man!

Bough: Don't talk, don't talk. It makes it crawl back up.

Andrew: You lot whip it out and you're expressionless before the get-go drop hits the floor.

Bender: You're pretty sexy when you get angry.

John Bender: [to Andrew] Sounds similar your father and my father should just gather and become bowling.

Richard Vernon: [enters the library before lunchtime] All right, girls, that's xxx minutes for lunch.

Andrew Clark: Here?

Richard Vernon: Here.

Andrew Clark: Well, I remember the cafeteria would exist a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir.

Richard Vernon: [irritably] Well, I don't really care what you think, Andrew.

John Bough: [raises his paw] Dick, uh, excuse me. Rich, will milk be made available to us?

Claire Standish: [to Vernon] I have a low tolerance for dehydration.

Andrew Clark: I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross.

John Bough: Relax, I'll get it.

Richard Vernon: [stops him] Ah-ah-ah! Grab some woods, there, bub. What practise you think, I was built-in yesterday? You retrieve I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?

[points to Andrew]

Richard Vernon: Y'all

[Andrew willingly points to Claire, but Vernon points to a spaced-out Allison]

Richard Vernon: and you. Hey!

[snaps fingers and turns to the others]

Richard Vernon: What'southward her name? Wake her upwardly. Wake her up. Hey, come on, missy, on your feet, let'south go! This is no residual home.

[Allison stares strangely at Vernon equally she stands up]

Richard Vernon: There's a soft drinkable machine in the teacher'south lounge. Let's go!

[the rest of the kids take their time giving Andrew and Allison change]

Richard Vernon: Come up on, milk shake your tail feather, let's get, ante upwardly! Some people don't fifty-fifty become a lunch hour. Come on, go a move on!

Claire Standish: [takes out a $xx bill] Excuse me, sir, can you break this?

[Vernon scoffs sarcastically]

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088847/quotes/qt0475635

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